How to Last Longer in Bed: 9 Methods That Actually Work

Wanting to last longer in bed is one of the most common sexual concerns men have, and it is far more fixable than most men realize. The methods below are ranked roughly by how strong the evidence is and how easy they are to start.

If you almost always finish within about a minute of penetration, you may have premature ejaculation (PE), a common and very treatable condition. Read our guide to premature ejaculation causes and treatments.

1. The stop-start technique

This is the classic behavioral method, and sex therapists still recommend it first. During sex or masturbation, stop all stimulation when you feel you are getting close. Wait until the urge passes (usually 30 seconds or so), then continue. Repeat three or four times before allowing yourself to finish.

Over a few weeks, most men get better at recognizing the “point of no return” and staying below it. Practice alone first, then with a partner.

2. The squeeze technique

A variation of stop-start: when you are close, you or your partner gently squeeze the head of the penis where it meets the shaft for several seconds until the urge fades. Some men find it works better than simply pausing.

3. Train your pelvic floor

The pelvic floor muscles help control ejaculation. Small studies have found that pelvic floor exercises (Kegels) helped many men with lifelong PE improve their control over 8 to 12 weeks.

How to do them: find the muscles by stopping your urine flow midstream (just once, to identify them). Then squeeze those muscles for 3 seconds, relax for 3 seconds, and repeat 10 times, three times a day. Build up to 10-second holds.

4. Use a delay spray or wipe

Delay sprays and wipes contain a mild numbing agent such as lidocaine or benzocaine that reduces sensitivity. Topical anesthetics are one of the better-studied options for PE, and a lidocaine-prilocaine spray is approved as a medical treatment in Europe.

Tips for using them well:

• Apply 10 to 15 minutes before sex, using the smallest effective amount
• Wipe off excess or use a condom to avoid numbing your partner
• Stop if you lose your erection or feel too numb; less is more
• Avoid if you or your partner is allergic to local anesthetics

5. Try a thicker or “climax control” condom

Thicker condoms reduce sensation, and some brands contain benzocaine on the inside. They are cheap, easy and protect against pregnancy and infections at the same time.

6. Masturbate an hour or two before sex

Many men find that ejaculating earlier in the day or an hour or two before sex helps them last longer the next time. It depends on your refractory period, so experiment.

7. Change positions and pace

Positions where you are less in control of the pace, or where stimulation is less intense, can help. Many men last longer with their partner on top. Slower, deeper movements are generally less stimulating than fast, shallow ones. Pausing to change position also works as a natural stop-start.

8. Deal with anxiety

Performance anxiety and PE feed each other: worry about finishing early makes it more likely. Talking openly with your partner, spending more time on foreplay, and remembering that sex does not have to be centered on penetration all take the pressure off. If anxiety is significant, a therapist who specializes in sexual health can help a lot.

9. Look after the basics

Regular exercise, good sleep, limited alcohol and not smoking all support sexual function. Heavy drinking may seem to delay ejaculation but it also weakens erections. If you have erection problems too, fix those first: men who worry about losing their erection often rush to finish. Read why you may not be getting as hard.

What about pills and drinks?

• “Last longer” supplements: no herbal supplement has strong evidence for delaying ejaculation. Be skeptical of products that promise it.
• Drinks: no drink will make you last longer. Staying hydrated and limiting alcohol are sensible. See what to drink (and avoid) before sex.
• Prescription options: doctors can prescribe treatments for PE, including certain antidepressants used off-label and, in some countries, medicines licensed specifically for PE.

When to see a doctor

See a doctor if PE is causing distress in you or your relationship, if it started suddenly after years of normal function, or if it comes with erection problems or pain. Sudden changes can have physical causes, such as prostate inflammation or thyroid problems, that are easy to treat.

How long should a man last in bed?

In a large international study, the median time from penetration to ejaculation was about 5.4 minutes, with a very wide range between couples. There is no “correct” time; what matters is whether you and your partner are satisfied.

Do delay sprays really work?

Topical anesthetic sprays are one of the better-studied options for premature ejaculation and help many men last longer. Use the smallest effective amount to avoid numbness.

Can Kegel exercises help you last longer?

Small studies suggest pelvic floor training improves ejaculatory control for many men after 8 to 12 weeks of regular practice.

What is the fastest way to last longer tonight?

A thicker condom or a delay spray applied beforehand, combined with the stop-start technique, are the quickest options.